Life, at the moment, isn’t going as well as I want it to. I was faced with a difficult decision and decided to respond. For a minute, I began to feel regretful for making such a decision, but really, it was the right decision. I feel guilty for a variety of reasons, and maybe I shouldn’t, but I feel as though I can’t help it. I think the problem is that I have a tendency to blame myself for things, even if they’re not my fault. I have to accept that I have made the right decision, regardless of what happens. I worry about the outcome and if it will negatively affect me. Really, however, it shouldn’t.
I’m just not in a good place right now. I mean that both literally and mentally. The environment, the people and places I’m around, is hindering me more than anything. This negatively affects my mental health, and things don’t seem to be getting any better. I already have mental health problems, so all these new difficulties coupled with the old ones just makes me feel like giving up. I’m trying to get to a better place, but, seriously, is it possible at this point?
Currently I’m just passing along. I’m not sure what’s going to transpire for the next several weeks (or longer), but I don’t think that I want to deal with any of it. I just want to live happily, and I feel like I can’t. I can’t help but to feel that I have made the wrong decision, but what other decision was there? I feel as if all of this is really complicated, but really it shouldn’t be. I’m probably just paranoid and anxious – the epitome of my illness. I’m in the process of getting help, so I’ll see what happens.
